Book Hoarding, Children, & Maurice

Some books you just can't donate.  

After years and years of unschooling, I've accumulated "a few" books. There are bookshelves in nearly every room. And, we're not talking about shelves that have a couple books artfully placed with a lovely vase next to them. I'm talking bookcases crammed full of books. Once the row is full, we've even wedged them on the tops vertically.

My kids, now nearly grown, have their own favorites stacked by the bed, on their dresser and in their own bookshelves. Yes. We're Book People.                  

But when the Bastrop fires happened last year, I felt for those homeschooling families that were dislocated and needing...EVERYTHING. At the same time, we had been watching the Hoarding shows, and my family kept looking my way.                              

"Those bookshelves, Mom! Sheesh!" was what I'd hear after each show.
And, "Who are you saving those books for?"

Sometimes I'd say, "Well, when you homeschool YOUR future kids, I will be prepared. I will have everything you need." But Ron would remind me, "Don't you think you could just pick a few favorites and then donate the rest? I mean, won't you want to buy nice NEW books for your grandchildren?" He had a point.

So I started sifting. Interestingly, when I sorted books and the kids were nearby, I'd ask them, "Keep or donate?"
"Little Bear series? Keep or donate" Alyssa would pipe up, "No, don't give that away!"
"Where the Wild Things Are?" No, that was Michael's favorite. Michael even went as Max for Halloween while he was in college, making his own costume... as usual.

We ended up keeping a lot more than we thought we would. While the internet and cable give us FABULOUS learning experiences, there's something about snuggling next to mom reading a familiar book at the end of the day.  I'm glad their memories of these books were as warm and fuzzy to them as they are to me. I don't think they'll ever forget the sound of Ron reading Hank the Cowdog to them. Something about being born and raised in Mesquite, Texas gives you an accent perfect for that series.

 I did give a way quite a few books - several rubbermaid tubs full. Yet, still, we kept several rubbermaids full too, just loaded them into storage. Did Ron really think we'd be able to limit it to one or two each? ha! Who knows how they'll feel about them when (way) down the road they have children and want to share their favorite books? But, there I'll be...fully prepared.

The passing of Maurice Sendak reminds me of how much we loved his books. Some authors just connect with you and he was one of them. Listening to his interviews over the years and seeing the quotes on the internet remind me that he had respect for children that we don't always see. He didn't talk down to them or give any kind of belittling of childish ways. Reading his books and understanding the messages he was saying had a ripple effect that I think would have pleased him.  I'm sure people will continue to enjoy his work for years to come.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from Maurice Sendak - some from interviews, some directly from the books.

"I believe there is no part of our lives, our adult as well as child life, when we're not fantasizing, but we prefer to relegate fantasy to children, as though it were some tomfoolery only fit for the immature minds of the young. Children do live in fantasy and reality; they move back and forth very easily in a way we no longer remember how to do."

"Children are willing to expose themselves to experiences. We aren't. Grownups always say they protect their children, but they're really protecting themselves. Besides, you can't protect children. They know everything."

“. . .from their earliest years children live on familiar terms with disrupting emotions, fear and anxiety are an intrinsic part of their everyday lives, they continually cope with frustrations as best they can. And it is through fantasy that children achieve catharsis. It is the best means they have for taming Wild Things.” 

“Peter Rabbit, for all its gentle tininess, loudly proclaims that no story is worth the writing, no picture worth the making, if it is not a work of imagination.” 

“I think it is unnatural to think that there is such a thing as a blue-sky, white-clouded happy childhood for anybody. Childhood is a very, very tricky business of surviving it. Because if one thing goes wrong or anything goes wrong, and usually something goes wrong, then you are compromised as a human being. You're going to trip over that for a good part of your life.” 

“If there's anything I'm proud of in my work--it's not that I draw better; there's so many better graphic artists than me--or that I write better, no. It's--and I'm not saying I know the truth, because what the hell is that? But what I got from Ruth and Dave, a kind of fierce honesty, to not let the kid down, to not let the kid get punished, to not suffer the child to be dealt with in a boring, simpering, crushing-of-the-spirit kind of way.” 

"And Max, the king of all wild things, was lonely and wanted to be where someone loved him best of all."

“But the wild things cried, “Oh please don’t go - we’ll eat you up - we love you so!”And Max said, “No!”The wild things roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws but Max stepped into his private boat and waved goodbye.” 

“And [he] sailed back over a year
and in and out of weeks
and through a day
and into the night of his very own room
where he found his supper waiting for him
and it was still hot” 


Stephen Cobert did a very funny interview with Maurice Sendak recently. It's in two parts:

The Colbert Report

Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

The Colbert Report

Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

I'm THAT Mom

When you choose to parent differently than the majority of people nearby, you can't help but notice the raised eyebrows. And over the years, I've seen and heard a lot more than that. I've been called "overprotective," "too involved," and even the infamous "helicopter parent." I'd love to tell you that when these slams came my way, they just rolled off my back. They didn't. They stung. They made me question myself. They made me wonder if maybe they were right. But it didn't deflect my course. I was going to be THAT mom. It was inevitable. It was as if it were in my DNA. Often, I didn't have the reasoning or the research to back it up. But I had a gut feeling... and that gut feeling was that I was going to love my kids as if that was the only day I'd have with them. I was going to fill their lives with fun and adventure and opportunities - because  you really really don't know how long you have. We've all seen young lives cut short. And it's even sadder to me that many of them were waiting for their life to start at age 18.  It may be a bit morbid, but I kept thinking, if that were my child, would I be happy with how they spent their short life?

So, yes. I am THAT mom.

I am THAT mom whose family bed concept did not end at any particular age.  Each child slept differently and some stayed with us longer than others.  The Open Sign hung on the door long past when they needed it. Although, when they were teens, if they got sick, they'd often crawl into our bed. Since they were no longer "little kid sized," Ron would often roll out the other side and head to the guest room or a nearby couch.  Because when you're sick, who doesn't wish their mommy would take care of them?

I am THAT mom who takes the kids to the store in the middle of the night to get snacks that we don't have on hand...knowing fully well that these pre-teens just want to be out late and see who else is out late.

I am THAT mom who when there weren't enough adult volunteers, stepped up to lead Girl Scout troops to make sure my daughters had that experience.

I am THAT mom who cringed when parents talked about how happy they were that their kids were going back to school in August (with their child standing right beside them!), or when parents would say, "I'm not your friend, I'm your mom!" I understand what they're aiming for, but I think it completely misses the point. For me, "friend" and "mom" are not mutually exclusive.

I am THAT mom who at one point in time said yes to: 1 Red-eared slider, 2 parakeets, 2 cockatiels, 2 dogs, 3 cats, a guinea pig, 3 pygmy goats, 3 horses, and a donkey.  Loving our pets was a great gateway to learning about following our passions.

I am THAT mom who, when my family started to be interested in horses, worked at a ranch, took riding lessons, I said, "Sure, let's buy that 16 acre ranch outside of town on our (what we thought was) our final move!"

And then, when the interests faded and the situation wasn't best for my teenagers to be stuck outside of a small redneck Texas town, I watched months of HGTV, "staged" the house, sold it in 3 weeks, packed up the family and moved to Austin. Yes, I am THAT mom.

I am THAT mom who, when my son was wishing he had a brother (he had only 2 sisters),  agreed to host a Japanese exchange student... and our lives were forever changed.

I am THAT mom, who later, let her 16 year old son go to Japan for 3 months, because he had an interest in other cultures and travel.

I am THAT mom who served raspberries and cream puffs for one daughter's birthday breakfast in bed, homemade chocolate pie for my son who prefers it over cake, and IHOP breakfast for my other daughter. And I'm no stranger to throwing wild elaborate birthday parties either!

I am THAT mom who, when we didn't have support groups that met our needs, I grabbed a few friends and we simply started one up: Homeschoolers Unlimited, The Chart & Compass, Alaska Homeschool Network, and the National Home Education Network.

I am THAT mom who, when my daughter wanted to act out scenes from a show, I watched her do it over and over and OVER! I even pulled out the video camera and followed her around or set up the tripod so she could film it herself.  And then when that progressed to community theatre, I am THAT mom that sat in the seats for every rehearsal and show, sometimes volunteering to do whatever job needed doing (stage crew, costume cutter, light person, Tinkerbell sparkle light).

I am THAT mom who let my kids find their own way with make-up, clothing and piercings. They are so much more confident about who they are and how they want to portray themselves to the world, because they have had the time and the space to figure that out.

I am THAT mom who let my kids set their own sleep schedules. Sometimes they'd be up all night, and sleep all day. Often, I would crash before they would. But it all worked out. Yes, they were able to set their alarms and get up for the early shift at work.

I am THAT mom, who when my daughter and her friends wanted to go to a Rave and I thought they were a little too young, I took them myself. I walked with them to the front area, paid for them to get in and then picked them up when they called.  They enjoyed it, but had no desire to go again.

I am THAT mom, who when my 17 year old became engaged to her 19 year old boyfriend, I trusted her like I always have.  (Yes, I encouraged a long engagement - they're 18 & 20 now...the wedding will be when they're 19 & 21). But it's ALL about trust...little decisions and big decisions.

I am THAT mom, who let my daughter's boyfriend (now fiancé) move in to our house so they could save money for their future.

I am THAT mom who had my kids' Facebook & Myspace passwords, and spoke regularly with my kids about what I saw.  I didn't prevent them from writing or posting or even being friends with some "questionable characters," but instead discussed and suggested but mainly listened without judgement. By not TELLING them how things were going to be done, they often came around to the idea on their own. My Hands On Approach to Parenting applied when they were young, but also when they were teens.

I am THAT mom who spent years combing newspapers, surfing the internet, and picking people's brains to find out what cool activity might interest one or more of my kids. I was on a mission to find interesting places to explore and fascinating experiences for them to have in every place we lived. Some were flops, some hit the mark, lots fell in between. But every place offered adventures we simply had to uncover, and one thing really DOES lead to another.

I am THAT mom, who when my daughter told me she thought she was not smart enough to go to high school, after 15 years of unschooling, I asked her if she wanted to go. I told her that maybe she should go see, because I KNEW she was smart enough. But I knew it was way more important that SHE know. We mulled over the possibilities, and she did go. For a year and half. And that was all she needed.

I am THAT mom, who drove wherever we needed to go to meet fun people and/or have great experiences. We traveled up and down the state of California for HSC campouts or conferences. We trekked across Alaska to speak with people at homeschool events - we drove through mountain ranges and slept on ferries. From Texas, we ventured to Live and Learn conferences in St. Louis, Albuquerque, and North Carolina. We drove weekly to Dallas to be part of a homeschool film crew at the PBS station. We visited friends all over the country. And whenever we moved (and we did that lot with the military), we took the long scenic routes. There was always something interesting to check out along the way. And, yes, we put a lot of miles on our cars!

These are just a few of things that come to mind. And some of you might STILL be raising your eyebrows about some of these decisions. I'm sharing them anyway, because parenting decisions can sometimes look complicated and scary. Sometimes they are. But when you have a basic philosophy about what you're doing, it's more of a natural (less complicated) way of living with your children. It's about developing a relationship of trust and love, more than anything else.

I think most importantly, I am THAT mom that "held the container" - what my dad used to call the Sanctuary. I made sure that my kids had a place to grow and explore and try whatever they wanted to try. I did protect them a great deal because the world DOES want children to play small. Society is not crazy about children who "don't know their place" or are "too big for their britches." Kids in school often had to shape their interests, and actually their personalities, so that they either could gain the attention of others or keep out of the limelight. SOO much energy is often put into that struggle. I wanted my kids' energy to be used somewhere else. I wanted them to feel free to be as creative as they wanted as they set out on their own adventure of self-discovery. I simply wanted them to unfold more naturally - without unnecessary peer pressure or authoritarian squashing.

So, yeah. I guess that makes me THAT mom. I'm okay with it. And my kids are doing okay too.


*A couple years ago, an entire thread of "I'm THAT Mom"s bubbled up in cyberspace, starting with Flo Gascon. :) Here's a link to a bunch of them!

Life, Dreams, Passion

The Beauty of Math

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Blossoming Gardens

In 1997, we were in our second year of keeping our kids out of school. Michael was 8, Katie was 6, and Alyssa was 3.  We were trying to create a community of unschooling and relaxed homeschooling families in Alaska, so I agreed to publish a newsletter called Chart & Compass.  It was only available for the few years we lived there, but I wrote this article about Spring and Unschooling and Alaska...and it just makes me smile.  I'm glad I continued on that path!


And now, 15 years later,  I'm happy to share it with the Unschooling Blog Carnival!

I've really been getting into gardening lately. I'm amazed at the bold colors and the lush flower arrangements all over town, a town barren just a couple of months back. Being new to Alaska, I don't really know a lot about which flowers grow well here.


All my gardening knowledge dealt with plants indigenous to Texas and North Carolina-clearly bluebonnets and azaleas aren't going to work out. Well, actually, I could plant them in pots, regulate their sun time, heat, and watering to be more similar to the South. While the plants would grow, they wouldn't really thrive---not to mention how exhausted I would be---all because I only wanted to grow what I was familiar with!


I'm struck by the similarity between my gardening experience and my unschooling/homeschooling experience. Prior to this year, all I knew about education came from what and how I had learned in schools. Some good, some bad. What worked, what hadn't. The only thing is, that environment is not what I want to duplicate in my home. "School-ish" materials seem to really be aimed at the center of that bell curve and a lot of the repetitiveness is due to so many children in one classroom. Certainly, it doesn't take 12 years to cover that material! So, probably, just as with my gardening, I'm going to have to learn new ways.


Forcing a familiar school-type approach at home is like forcing bougainvillea to bloom in Alaska.


I look out the window and see the Alaska Shasta daisies, lobelia, and the Forget-Me-Nots growing like mad. They're not root-bound in pots (and the gardeners seem to be thriving well too). All it took was to find what these little flowers needed and provide it. And allow Nature to provide the rest. That, too, requires a certain amount of trust. I have to hold myself back from interfering, trying to force my old ways of gardening and learning upon my gardens. I guess I'll just try to relax and enjoy my little flowers' unfolding. I hope you're enjoying your gardens too!

Anchorage Visitor Center

From Chart & Compass May 1997 

Interesting Graphic about Homeschoolers

This is from the College at Home Blog. While I don't think we're in this to dominate anybody, I think it's nice to be able to show that those who learn at home are doing just fine thankyouverymuch!

Glancing at the sources a little, I see where they get their numbers. Not sure it's all that accurate - no one asked me about our income level or my husband's occupation. Still, it makes a little sense as to where some of this comes from. Nevertheless, it's a quicky reference for the naysayers, I guess. ;)

[Sorry about the overlap here into the sidebar. The image doesn't give me a lot of choices. It's ok, you can see it.]


Created by: College At Home

Wordless Wednesday

Unschooling Your Teens - FB Resource!

Have you ever noticed how great information simply scrolls off the bottom of a Facebook page?  That may change with the new Timeline format that's coming, but for now, I lose things all the time! I think something sounds worthwhile to read and plan to come back to it later when the house is quieter, or I'm just less distracted.  But then, I find that I a) don't remember where I saw it, or b) that particular wall has now been engulfed with 6 more hours of worldwide comments. I simply cannot find it.

So last fall, I started a Facebook page and simply started posting the interesting articles, videos, blogposts that pertained to families with teenagers learning at home.  I didn't make it public, I just stored articles there.  Eventually, I realized that others might benefit from this resource and even be capable of sharing articles that they find out on the internet. I wrote to a few friends and flipped the switch to "Public."

Someone asked if this is a Discussion forum. The answer is Yes and No. Yes, in that we can discuss whatever the article, video, blogpost that's up on the wall. But no, in that I'd prefer questions that don't pertain to the uploaded links be handled on the many lists that exist out on Facebook and the web that handle this. I agree that there are very few places that parents of teens can share specifically to that age range. But, perhaps something will come. If you are interested in the materials, or have something to share that is specific for parents of teens, please join the page.

In the meantime, here's my new Facebook Page: 

Homeschooling/Unschooling Your Teen 

If you go to this link, "like" the page,  any updates will be automatically sent to your Facebook newsfeed.

Please share this link! 

thanks!

Conferences 2012

 When we were first homeschoooling, I wanted to learn as much as I could. I found a conference that was nearby and went to it. It was referred to as "a Christian" conference, but I didn't think much about it. We were Episcopalian, that seemed like it would be fine. It wasn't long before I discovered that there are sometimes "code words" in the homeschooling language. And, evidently, "Christian Conference" is one of them.

They talked about being called by God to homeschool. That wasn't my situation, I just thought I could do better than the public school system. Sure, I prayed, but I didn't feel like God Himself was telling me to do this! They also talked about wives deferring to their husbands for all decision-making, being subservient, and recognizing that their husband was The Principal in their Home School. That certainly didn't describe our situation. My husband agreed that homeschooling was a good thing, but he hadn't researched it nearly as much as I had. Why would I ask him for advice? I was trying to get HIM to read more and get more educated on the topic (which he ultimately did). But I was leading this push, not him.

What I did find to be beneficial at that first homeschooling conference was their resource room. I had seen various materials for sale in homeschooling catalogs, and most of them were right there in the Resource Room - available for me to look at and decide if their marketing was accurate. You know how you see movie trailers that are so great, but then you realize that those were the only good parts of the whole movie? Marketing works that way in homeschool catalogs as well. And that was the mid- '90s! I'm sure marketing to homeschoolers/unschoolers has only grown larger!

Long long ago!
Lillian Jones, Linda Dobson, me, Alyssa

I will tell you that my favorite conference is HSC Conference in Sacramento. I went for several years as we lived nearby. I even spoke there and worked as a Speaker Coordinator. What I like about it is that all kinds of homeschoolers are welcome. There is a distinct unschooling "flavor" about it. But as my homeschooling friends used to tell me, "I love being around unschoolers. Even though we use curriculum, you all inspire me to be much more creative!" That's what this conference will do.

So grab a friend and head off to a conference! Bring your kids too, because their are fun things for them as well. Also, I think it helps them feel part of something larger.

Unschoolers’ Waterpark Gathering.
January 23-27, 2012. Sandusky, Ohio.

In-Home Conference
March 15-17, 2012. St. Charles, Illinois

ARGH, Autodidactic Radical Gathering of Homeschoolers
May 6-9, 2012  Roan Mt, TN


ALL in May
Always Learning Live Unschooling Symposium
May 18- 20, 2012, Worcester, Massachusetts

LIFE is Good Unschooling Conference.
May 24 -27, 2012. Vancouver, Washington.

HSC Conference: Adventures in Homeschooling
August 2-5, 2012. Sacramento, California

Northeast Unschooling Conference.
August 23-26, 2012. Wakefield, Massachusetts.

Rethinking Everything.
Labor Day Weekend August 30 - September 4, 2012. Dallas, Texas

Wide Sky Days (was Good Vibrations Unschooling Conference)
September 5-9, 2012. San Diego, California

Un in the Sun
October 17-20, 2012

Always Learning Live Unschoolers Symposium.
Dec 27-30, 2012 – Albuquerque, NM

Toronto Unschooling Conference,
 On Hiatus, Toronto, Ontario

For Teens:


Backpacking 101, Outdoors Skills and Ethics
Bowman Adventures
May 13-18, 2012, Jonesborough, Tennessee

East Tennessee Unschooled Summer Camp.
Aug 12-19, 2012. Buffalo Mountain, Tenn.

NBTSC (Not Back To School Camp)
July 30-August 6 Camp Latgawa, Eagle Point, Oregon
August 21- September 4  Camp Myrtlewood, Bridge, Oregon
September 21- October 5  Farm & Wilderness Tamarack Farm Camp - Plymouth, Vermont

Wordless Wednesday

Following a Passion

When we lived in Alaska, a small horse stable was located on the outskirts of the Air Force base. We'd have to pass it everyday, as we drove in toward the neighborhoods. Alyssa was mesmerized. She and Ron would identify which horses were out in the pasture. As winter approached, the horses spent a little more time in the barns. So when Ron dropped Michael off at Tiger Cubs, he and Alyssa would go to the stables and talk to the horses for that hour. Sometimes they'd talk to the owners, sometimes they'd bring carrots or apples or sugar cubes.

Alyssa was shy around people, but not around horses. She'd walk her tiny self - she was all of about 4 years old - up to the stalls, and pet those enormous horses. Ron would hold her up and she'd rub their faces, speaking softly to them. They'd talk about different horse breeds and how they looked and acted. Soon the owners came to know them, and they'd share stories about their horses.  We thought about how nice it would be someday, to own our own horse farm.

So when the Air Force took us to California after Alaska, we knew we needed to find a horse farm. We couldn't buy one, but we sure could hang out at someone else's! We wanted to find riding lessons for all of the kids; Ron decided he wanted to learn too. He found ManMar Ranch near our home. ManMar was interesting because it was a breeding ranch for the UC Veterinary school. We found a riding instructor named Miss Shirley.  She was from England and wanted everyone to learn English instead of Western. Being a HUGE John Wayne fan family, that did not sit well. Miss Shirley explained that it was a better way to learn. Less leather between you and your horse, means you will be able to read each other better.  So that's what we did. And we decide to learn something, we immerse ourselves. Ron and the kids would offer to help the ranch owner, Liz, with whatever she needed. She had stable hands, but they had a lot to do. Soon, my kids were moving horses from one field to another, bringing them into their stalls for the night, helping with feeding, chatting with owners. When one of the mares was about to have a foal, Liz called us to come up and watch. A miracle in the barn - without a doubt!

The UC Vets let the kids look through microscopes, talked with them about injuries, and explained artificial insemination. They all learned about the dangers of getting too close to the hormone-raging stallions, as well as the mares who were used solely for breeding. They were referred to as the Crazy Mares. I guess you would be too if you were pregnant most of your life! This happens in the horse racing world. Expensive race horses cannot run the risk of a problem pregnacy. So the Crazy Mares do all the work, so to speak.
Liz had shared her horses with us. First it was Pepper (For Dr. Pepper), then it was Louie. Finally she wanted us to try to ride Gilley. He was a Standard bred bay colored horse who had not done well on the track. He was fast, but he was easily spooked at the gate. While that's no good for a race horse, it's not that bad for a family horse. Ron and Michael spent many days there helping them build a covered riding arena, learning how to break in horses - all to barter with Liz, work for boarding costs for Gilley.  Liz loved her horses. So when Alyssa clearly loved them too, they were connected. She even hosted a birthday party for Alyssa out at the ranch, letting all of her friends climb onto different horses and go for a ride.

Katie's interest in horses faded. But Michael, Alyssa and Ron continued their horse love affair. So when the Air Force was ready to move us back to Texas, we decided we had to have a ranch! Boarding costs alone made it sound like a good idea. But really, it was clear that we were bringing more animal interests into our lives. We already had a parakeet, a turtle, a dog, a cat, a guinea pig and some tadpoles that would never morph into frogs (I'll save that story for another post!) So we bought 16 acres on a hill northwest of Wichita Falls, in a community that was just a dot on map: Thornberry. Before long, we acquired 2 more horses, Dolly and Cimarron.


 But we also acquired chickens, ducks, guineas, guinea pigs, goats, cows, a donkey, a bull, cockatiels, parakeets, feral cats and guard dogs.  We built a chicken coop and raised chicks. We learned how the light affects the egg production and how to keep chickens safe from coyotes and bull snakes. We wrote stories about the animals and the various adventures and mysteries that happened on the ranch. The kids bought a breeding pair of cockatiels and started a cockatiel business. They trained the birds so they could be handled and hand-fed and sold the babies to other families. They helped with the birthing of calves, trimmed hooves on goats, and even buried a much loved cat that we had brought with us from Alaska. They bottle-fed kittens that had been abandoned in a neighbor's barn. They learned how soft a donkey's nose is and how stubborn a bull can be. They entered their dogs in 4H competitions, even winning some of them! They learned about horse tack and temperaments. We bought materials to build stalls and run fencing.  The kids shared their information with other "city kids" who had no idea we had only just left the 'burbs ourselves.  We met other horse owners in the ranches nearby. Alyssa even delivered Girl Scout cookies by horseback!  Our kids knew what was safe and what was important on the ranch.

We stayed on our ranch in Thornberry for 5 years. We learned so much there! But the reason I'm sharing this here is because, for us, this was what following our passions looked like.  Ron noticed Alyssa was interested in horses in Alaska and found a way for her to see one up close. Connecting all the dots is something you can see clearly when it's retrospective; but while you're living it, you simply have to step toward the interest and see where you go.  These steps led to a 10 year adventure with animals - for the whole family!

Alyssa was a late reader and didn't retain many math concepts. But she could spot a Thoroughbred and tell you all the difference between a Buckskin and a Palomino. She knew her tack and her horses. It really made me smile to look out the kitchen window and see her pull her horse, Dolly, over toward the hot tub or the fence gate. She'd climb up so she'd be tall enough to hop onto the bare back of the horse. Then she'd ride laps around the house, down the driveway, and around the fence lines. It gave her a confidence that would see her through many of the obstacles she'd face later in life. Our "pets" taught all of them that animals need their human to do a lot of hard work - every day. If it was cold and windy, they still had to be fed. If it was raining, someone still needed to close up the chicken coop door.

But they learned even bigger lessons. They learned that if you love something, it's within your grasp... even if you have to shift some priorities to get it. People might look at you funny saying, "You're going to do what?" But anything is attainable if you walk through the steps to get there.  That is so much more important than long division or reading by 8.

In spite of - or more likely *because of* - this nontraditional approach toward learning, my kids did learn to read and to write.  
     Michael (almost 23) got a degree in Journalism and is a Peace Corps Volunteer. 
     Katie (21) is studying at a film acting conservatory in New York city. 
     Alyssa is completing her cosmetology program, ready to start her career at 18.

Wordless Wednesdays

Wordless Wednesdays

Natural Curiosity

I love the internet. I was sitting there thinking about creativity and learning and suddenly something pops up and points me in a little different direction.This picture floated around Facebook. It shows a subway in Washington D.C. Everyone is rushing by as a someone is playing a violin over near the wall. The point of the message is that people should stop to watch beauty.


Here's the story:

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that 1,100 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by, and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace, and stopped for a few seconds, and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping, and continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried, but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally, the mother pushed hard, and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money, but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the most talented musicians in the world. He had just played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, on a violin worth $3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste, and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

Evidently this isn't the first time this has happened. One commenter says that Paul McCartney did this same thing in London, and no one stopped.  And, yes, paying attention to beauty around us IS an important thing we need to do. But what  I noticed about the story is that the children DID notice beauty.  They didn't look past him. They craned their neck to see what was going on, only moved along by their adult.

That natural curiosity is inside all of us. But after years of schools ringing bells, ending class times just when it was getting interesting, or even just making the presumption that each class time should be allocated X amount of time - no more, no less, we have essentially buried our natural curiosity. I used to think it was squashed out of us. But now I think of it more as heaps and heaps of deadlines, priorities (usually someone else's!), forced competition, and urgency. Those are what come from years and years of classroom exposure.

When we lived in Alaska, we used to go to a science museum called the Imaginarium. Clearly they believed in the benefit of hands-on learning, as each exhibit was about exploration and discovery. We would go every month with other families in our support group. My son would often gravitate to the fossil area. It was a giant sand pit with trucks and back hoes you could use to find the bones and stones that were buried below. Lots of times, the kids would spend their time building forts out of the sand piles, or setting up Indiana Jones inspired settings.

I remember the first time I took my kids to the Imaginarium. We were part of an organized class for the first hour, then we could spend the whole day there afterward if we wanted to. Often that's exactly what we did.  The kids had ended up in the sand pit/fossil area, and I was sitting with another mom.  Just as we were relaxing, in stormed a crowd of kids from school.  They were close in age to our kids, and there were a lot of them. I turned to the other mom who told me, "Just wait, they won't be here long." There was room in the sand for them to join ours, but they didn't. They just watched what our kids were doing. I didn't notice any commenting, nor did I notice that they really wanted to get into the sand. They talked among themselves for a few minutes, and then their teacher handed them a slip of paper - something for them to check off which exhibits they saw - and then she moved them to the next area.

I could see them from where I sat, and they didn't try to engage in anything that would take any time. They picked up a giant balloon wand, once or twice. They gently touched some noise maker. But they didn't stick with anything in particular. And then it was time for them to move to the next area and ultimately off to lunch.

I was struck by the thought that they weren't really engaging anywhere; they weren't encouraged to. And after years of bells ringing and teachers determining the amount of time they should focus, they simply kept it all at a very superficial level. They were rushed through with no time for exploring. Because exploring - really exploring - DOES take time. And all those kids in school missed that opportunity. They were basically being conditioned to set aside their natural curiosity. Over time, they'd forget about picking it up again.

Still, videos like this remind me that it's still in all of us. Some of us held tighter to our natural curiosity. So when the shackles of school were removed, they could easily reach through to rekindle that curiosity that was waiting for them. The rest of us take a little longer to reacquaint ourselves with that which is in us.

And then some of us, our children that were given time to discover and play, won't have to go looking for their natural curiosity.  It's been a big part of their lives all along.

Children's Story Choices

When I think about the books that I read to my children, 

is it any wonder they are outspoken against any injustices they see?

Not sure which ones these are?
Top Row: Butter Battle Book, The Sneetches, The Cat in the Hat, The Lorax
Bottom Row: Yertle the Turtle, The Grinch, Green Eggs & Ham,  Horton Hears a Who

This doesn't even include Oh the Places You'll Go, I Can Read with my Eyes Shut, Oh The Thinks You can Think, The Birthday Book, Marvin K Mooney...

They say it's the little things responsible for shaping who we are or how we think.  Night after night, we read Dr. Seuss until all of us fell asleep.  And these were the words we heard as we were nodding off...

When I started looking for the Dr. Seuss quotes, I stumbled onto the fact that Universal Studios was putting out The Lorax in theaters in March.  Initially, I added the video of  The Lorax movie trailer.  But a few hours after I uploaded this blog piece, my friend Bettina wrote to tell me that there's an even BIGGER story here! It seems my kids weren't the only one influenced by Dr. Seuss.

A 4th grade class in Boston were dismayed after watching the initial trailer. The movie wasn't holding to the the environmental theme of The Lorax, there was barely a mention of the trees at all!   

These 14 children launched The Lorax Petition Project through Change.org.  They saw similarities between our world and the world of the Lorax.  Their petition was circulated around Twitter and the internet; in one month, they generated 57,000 signatures.  

They wrote:

The Lorax movie, with its millions of dollars in advertising and massive audience has the potential to help heal the Earth. This movie can show the world we should not take our sky, water, trees, and animals for granted. It could inspire more and more people to treat Earth with the same respect you would give a child.We’d like to see the movie live up to the potential of the book. We’re encouraging Universal to make an improved Lorax movie website that Dr. Seuss would be proud of.

And the good news is, THEY WON! It's fascinating to see how quickly the internet, and especially social networks can empower people make a change in their world.  "No matter how small."

 Heartwarming, isn't it?

Their Video Request:



Here's the Movie Trailer. And it's being released on Dr. Seuss's Birthday!!! Do you have that book, Happy Birthday to You - it's a traditional birthday reading here. Still.

I Love A Party!

I love February and March! It's the time of year when EVERYONE in my family was born!  I used to say, "We stick out the Birthday Flag, and don't take it down till Easter!" and that was the truth!  Here's the deal, I LOVE parties. And I ADORE my kids. So put the two together and WOW! that's going to be fun! And it was. So many other families were content with Chuckie Cheese or a simple Pin The Tail on the Donkey. But not us.  We got creative and had a blast!


We had years where we hired puppet masters or clowns. Once we had an unemployed zoologist bring his "private stock" - hedgehogs and pythons, mini-gators, and tortoises. We built teepees and forts, horseback riding and Secret agent parties. We rented a cabin in the mountains, listened to wolves howl in the valley while we told jokes until our sides ached.  We had tea parties and pinatas, fairies and farms. We had movie themes: Harry Potter, Jurassic Park, Star Wars, Alice in Wonderland (stage and film) and Batman movie marathons. We even had a Pet Party - and invited everyone to BRING their pet to our house! That was wild! Even Alyssa's dentist showed up with her dental assistant - and their turtles. They said, "Who can resist an invitation to party like this? It's a once in a lifetime thing!" 


We held scavengers hunts for 30 teens, and even had a teen party where too many people came. Phones were stolen and the ITouch playing the music was even taken. (Everyone was standing around saying, "What happened to the music?" and then, "Oh noooo!"  We went to Medieval Times, Joe's Crab Shack, and even a Fortune Teller.


As the kids got older, the parties got a little smaller. More family dinners. Less hoopla. It always started with Breakfast in bed - raspberries and cream puffs for Katie, homemade Chocolate Pie for Michael, Alyssa preferred to go out to IHOP! We really went all out and completely based the party on what the child was "into" that year.
I forgot to mention that the FIRST birthday party - Michael's 1 year old birthday - we buried my dad that day. We went to my cousin's house in Kansas afterward. They bought a cake at the bakery and we sat around and watched Michael put his hand into the frosting. I'm the youngest of the cousins, and they seemed to think this is what all babies should do at this age. I didn't really get it, but I was having such a mixed emotional time: MY baby's first birthday…like this? I think everyone felt a little sorry for me.  Michael was totally oblivious.  He DID discover that he LOVED cake! And, hey, there was no where to go but up from there, wouldn't ya say?  We did travel back to Austin and held a real birthday party, where I made a cake and did crazy wild decorating, with friends and family there.  It wouldn't be the last time we'd have multiple parties for one kid!  But sometimes I wonder if that shaped me. Who knows?


Anyway, all of this would be way too much to list out - regardless of how much enjoyment *I* would get out of it!  That would be 59 birthday parties to describe. And even I know that would really be asking too much of my blog readers!  But good memories shouldn't be forgotten. this year, Alyssa turns 18, Katie turns 21, and Michael 23.  Michael will be in Nicaragua. Hopefully SKYPEing like he did at Christmas.  Katie will be in New York City. And while she's somewhat of a homebody, her friends have decided to take her out on the town!  Greaaat. But she'll have fun, and that's really all I care about. Alyssa will probably do something special with her fiancé (I'm still not used to calling him that!) I'm not sure what I'll do this year for mine or for Ron's.  Last year I had a lot of fun all weekend with friends and family. 


But what's a mom to do? Especially a mom who loves to celebrate her kids' birthdays - when her kids are grown and it's just not in the cards anymore?  If you've read any of my recent blogposts, I've been wallowing a lot. I turned 50 this year, my kids moved out, my baby got engaged, I'm menopausal, I turned 50, I burst into tears at a moment's notice. I'm REALLY feeling sorry for myself these days. But I LOVE this Birthday Time. So it is not going to go by without some kind of fanfare. I've been pondering my options.  I DO know that I'm going to make a special gift for each of the kids this time. I had started Birthday Scrapbooks for each of them. But with the onset of digital photographs, and my propensity to start projects and never get back to them, the scrapbooks didn't get done. The kids would excitedly fling them open, hoping I had put more pictures in.  Next year, I'd promise! 


We did video for Ron for Father's Day this year.  I'll upload it here, in case you want to do a little memory lane walk with the Patterson kids and their daddy. So I've been toying with the idea of a Birthday Video for each of them. I'd scan in all the pictures that are floating around from their birthdays.  Find some good music to put in.  (Did you know that Facebook wouldn't let me post Ron's Father's Day video because we used music that didn't belong to us? I actually BOUGHT some of the music off of ITunes, but it just wouldn't take it. So be forewarned, in case yo do this too!) 

The only drawback for the girls' birthdays - their 18th and 21st is that I'd like to include the pictures from THIS year. This looks like the best bet for Michael, because I can't really send him anything. He'd be able to see his video and watch it whenever he wanted.


My Option 2 is something I just ran across today: a website called 

Blurb: Make Your Own Book.

Wouldn't it be cool to have a book of your childhood birthday parties? It doesn't have the craftiness of scrapbooks, but it's faster to do. And I like them a lot.

So I'll let you know what I decide. I guess you'll have to subscribe or follow or whatever you do to find out later what we choose. It's gonna be great, I can tell you that. Because I LOVE to celebrate my babies' birthdays!  

And I love laughing with kids who just got skates!!

The Carnival - Behind the Scenes!

I'm really excited that we could revive the Unschooling Blog Carnival. If you haven't gotten a chance to look at it, please do! It's so funny because I had no idea what a Blog Carnival was just 6 months ago. I remember seeing someone host it - maybe Linda Dobson with her Parent at the Helm?  She had all these links to other people's blogs but I was going there to read more of what Linda writes! I couldn't figure out why I was being redirected to all kinds of other places!

Then I stumbled across the Homeschool Carnival - which has been running for 6 years, WEEKLY!  That is so impressive to me. They were kind enough to let me participate a couple of weeks in a row, I read more from the links at their site, and soon I was up to speed.

For those who don't know, the Blog Carnival is simply a collection of blog posts under a particular theme.   In our case, the general theme is Unschooling. But we've decided that that's too general. We are selecting a theme each month and requesting blog posts to correlate (albeit loosely) with that theme.

For the Unschooling Blog Carnival, we opened with the theme of LOVE.  It was interesting to see how different people interpreted the theme. I really liked how we took a Beatles song - All You Need Is Love - and after pulling the lyrics out, placed the different blog posts near the lyric that fit best. It didn't always work, but it was fun to try to do this with a little creativity. This particular rendition of the song is so great! We just stumbled over it. It has a very Wizard of Oz feeling to me. It starts in black and white and then when John Lennon begins to sing, it moves into a colorized version. And it's not a big staged rendition. There are people sitting on the floor around them - including a very young Mick Jagger! - and they're sitting on stool singing away. In the end, protestors with signs come walking through the song. It's very "60's" feeling; so I just love it!

We were a little worried at first when we didn't have a lot of submissions. I had put the word out on a few Facebook Group Pages, but the submissions weren't coming in very fast. I was visualizing the Homeschool Blog Carnival which has TONS of blog post submissions. I had 3. I thought it would be much easier to contact bloggers, but it turns out that many bloggers don't include their email address at their blog. Was I supposed to just leave a request on one of their posts? I wasn't really sure what to do. Frank had sent a WONDERFUL blog post, but he opened with a comment about his penis. Was I really supposed to lead the Grand Opening of the Carnival with the Penis Piece? lol I asked a few more friends, some came through, others postponed to next time. Nevertheless, just when I was getting seriously worried, the blog posts started coming in. Hopefully, the word about the Unschooling Blog Carnival will spread, and we'll just keep growing it!

And for those who are asking, "OK, but why?" Here's my best answer. I am in this transition time as a mom. My kids are grown and leaving the nest. Yet, I've spent all this time studying, talking, immersing myself in learning. And the most joyful way to approach learning seems to me to be unschooling. So I did the National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) last November - 30 posts in 30 days, I learned a few things about the blogging community as well as about myself. Mostly I learned how shared projects like this can connect people. So that's one of my goals with the Carnival, to increase the connection among Unschooling Bloggers.

I'm working hard to add more creativity into my life. It's my word for the year. Christine Kane writes about "choosing a word" in Resolution Revolution: A Better Way to Start Your Year. Last year, my word was Focus. I had so many things that had to be completed, if I just allowed myself to drift in my typical fashion, I would never have gotten anything done. OR I would have regretted missing things when I pulled my head out of the clouds.  But this year, the word is Creativity.  When I'm working on creative projects, it just makes me more joyful in my life in general. So, January's Creative Project was the Unschooling Blog Carnival.


But one of the true blessings about stepping toward my creativity is that I was able to rope in invite my friend Cydney Romano to help me with the Carnival. She does a little blogging at Recording the Atoms. She is SO creative and I just knew some of that could rub off on me. Plus, after the NaBloPoMo in November, I made a discovery! In addition to being a wonderful artist, Cydney is also an incredible writer.  I'm so happy to have another connection with her! And everyone will be so happy that she's agreed to work on the Unschooling Blog Carnival too!