For Some People, It's Just Natural

I pondered my options for the June Unschooling Blog Carnival submission. I could share a tribute to my dad, something I wrote last Fall called Holding Onto the Side of the Pool.

Or I could share the photo montage that the kids did for Ron last Father's Day. It was really sweet and if you want to take a little visual walk down memory lane with us, I'd love to snag this opportunity to share it again! So here you go:

But I didn't really feel like that was what I wanted to share. Sure, Ron's a good parent - he's involved, he listens to them (sometimes), he has helped, driven, chaperoned. Heck, once he even agreed to be in one of Katie's plays since he was waiting for her during every rehearsal - probably sleeping in the back row of the theatre. But they needed a Mr. Slugworth in Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, so he took a deep breath and stepped up onto the stage.

Double Piggy Back Rides

Instead, what I really think is remarkable about him is that he is The Quintessential Unschooler. He just loves to learn. It's what he does. And when he decides to learn something, it's full immersion.  Sometimes the kids' interests or opportunities sparked his interest, or his sometimes sparked something in them.

Ron & Michael

When I was busy reading about unschooling and how to raise children, Ron was simply... living. Playing with the kids. Exploring whatever was around.  I followed him around the house, reading snippets from various books. I even bought him Gatto's Dumbing Us Down and Guterson's Family Matters. He read a little and said, "Yeah, well we all know this about schools. Um, we were there." Then he put down the book. He felt no need to have any battle cry go up about the injustices of institutionalized learning. A simple, "Bring'em home," was what I got after a long list of why I thought it would be a good idea to try homeschooling after Michael finished 1st grade.

I continued to connect on the internet, reading and learning about this new world we were stepping into. But all the while, he was simply connecting with our kids on topics that interested them. It was just the natural thing to do. And once they were home so much more, he had a lot more opportunities. More reading, more game playing - more adventures out in the community and out in the world!

Ron & Katie hiking in North Carolina

Never too young to hike Enchanted Rock!

Typical evening...or anytime

Ron's not the kind of dad who just sits around with the remote control and waits for someone to bring him a beer.  His TV watching is deliberate - the Stanley Cup Playoffs, Sons of Anarchy, and his John Wayne & Clint Eastwood video collection. But even with those, he's Skyping with Michael in Nicaragua to talk about Martin Brodeur's latest goal save, or he's playing the Movie Line Game with Katie or Alyssa as they pass through the room. I'm sure you know it... you pick a line from a movie and say it, then the other person has to guess which movie it was. For a while, we had quite an extensive movie watching period, so they could come from anywhere: Monty Python, Three Amigos, Beetlejuice, The Blues Brothers, Jeremiah Johnson.... just to name a few. It used to drive my mother crazy when she'd come to visit. They could spend an entire dinner playing that game! She wanted them to have "meaningful" conversations. I just smiled because I knew the connection that was happening between them was the real goal.

Backyard Hockey with Katie & Michae

When we lived in Alaska, where our homeschooling started, Ron took up hockey. He always enjoyed watching the sport, but he was born and raised in Mesquite, Texas. Not a lot of hockey there. So even though he was 20 years older than most of the guys playing, at 44, he signed up for a little boot camp, and figured it out. He started going to pick-up games, the kids tagging along to watch. Next thing you know, they're all signing up for hockey teams, we're trekking across the state to tournaments,  and even building an ice rink in our back yard!

Dry Ice Experiments turned into Mad Science!

Next stop would be California. Sadly, the ice rinks weren't nearly that important to Californians, so it was time to shift gears. Alyssa and Michael were really interested in horses, so Ron took them to find a stable that offered lessons. He picked the brains of the ranchers and horse owners every chance he got.  The kids were always with him out there, so they watched and listened and learned. He helped Alyssa figure out how to drag feed through the stalls to give to each horse. He bartered for horse leasing, and agreed to help build a giant riding arena. So he and Michael climbed ladders, measured and sawed for weeks until it was finished.  All three learned so much there. 

Michael learning to ride Gilly

Once when they were out riding horses together, they found a little injured barn owl.  He showed 

them how to wrap it up in a towel and get it to the local raptor center. A few weeks later he was taking them out to see it be released back into the wild.

Learning to sail with Katie & Alyssa - Folsom Lake

Ron was always interested in sailing, so while we were still in California, he bought a little Venture 22 sailboat. He and Michael worked and worked on it. All three kids learned to sail at Folsom Lake.  So when the homeschool group in Davis needed chaperones for a sailing charter through the San Francisco Bay, he was the natural choice to step in. Ron, Michael and Katie all sailed on the Gas
 Light, a 50 foot Schooner - what a trip!

Helping Alyssa pet a Bat Ray (Monterey Bay Aquarium)

His interest in history took them to Angel Island for a group overnight trip. His love of science led to a Halloween party full of dry ice experiments.  His fondness for the outdoors took them on mountain hikes, snow cave adventures, camping trips, and beach excursions.

I could list one adventure after another that Ron experienced with each of the kids. But that might take a little longer than a typical blog post. Suffice it to say that Ron did not stand on the sidelines. He was a hands-on, involved dad. Not because someone told him it's good to do that, but simply because it was the natural thing for him to do. The kids were curious - about everything - and so was he. So when opportunities presented themselves, he was right there with them - guiding, listening, and stepping up to "give it a try."

Learning is simply a part of life for him.
For Ron, unschooling the kids was just a natural extension of that.

Just a cute picture of Ron & Michael (1991 Welcome Home)

Book Hoarding, Children, & Maurice

Some books you just can't donate.  

After years and years of unschooling, I've accumulated "a few" books. There are bookshelves in nearly every room. And, we're not talking about shelves that have a couple books artfully placed with a lovely vase next to them. I'm talking bookcases crammed full of books. Once the row is full, we've even wedged them on the tops vertically.

My kids, now nearly grown, have their own favorites stacked by the bed, on their dresser and in their own bookshelves. Yes. We're Book People.                  

But when the Bastrop fires happened last year, I felt for those homeschooling families that were dislocated and needing...EVERYTHING. At the same time, we had been watching the Hoarding shows, and my family kept looking my way.                              

"Those bookshelves, Mom! Sheesh!" was what I'd hear after each show.
And, "Who are you saving those books for?"

Sometimes I'd say, "Well, when you homeschool YOUR future kids, I will be prepared. I will have everything you need." But Ron would remind me, "Don't you think you could just pick a few favorites and then donate the rest? I mean, won't you want to buy nice NEW books for your grandchildren?" He had a point.

So I started sifting. Interestingly, when I sorted books and the kids were nearby, I'd ask them, "Keep or donate?"
"Little Bear series? Keep or donate" Alyssa would pipe up, "No, don't give that away!"
"Where the Wild Things Are?" No, that was Michael's favorite. Michael even went as Max for Halloween while he was in college, making his own costume... as usual.

We ended up keeping a lot more than we thought we would. While the internet and cable give us FABULOUS learning experiences, there's something about snuggling next to mom reading a familiar book at the end of the day.  I'm glad their memories of these books were as warm and fuzzy to them as they are to me. I don't think they'll ever forget the sound of Ron reading Hank the Cowdog to them. Something about being born and raised in Mesquite, Texas gives you an accent perfect for that series.

 I did give a way quite a few books - several rubbermaid tubs full. Yet, still, we kept several rubbermaids full too, just loaded them into storage. Did Ron really think we'd be able to limit it to one or two each? ha! Who knows how they'll feel about them when (way) down the road they have children and want to share their favorite books? But, there I'll be...fully prepared.

The passing of Maurice Sendak reminds me of how much we loved his books. Some authors just connect with you and he was one of them. Listening to his interviews over the years and seeing the quotes on the internet remind me that he had respect for children that we don't always see. He didn't talk down to them or give any kind of belittling of childish ways. Reading his books and understanding the messages he was saying had a ripple effect that I think would have pleased him.  I'm sure people will continue to enjoy his work for years to come.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from Maurice Sendak - some from interviews, some directly from the books.

"I believe there is no part of our lives, our adult as well as child life, when we're not fantasizing, but we prefer to relegate fantasy to children, as though it were some tomfoolery only fit for the immature minds of the young. Children do live in fantasy and reality; they move back and forth very easily in a way we no longer remember how to do."

"Children are willing to expose themselves to experiences. We aren't. Grownups always say they protect their children, but they're really protecting themselves. Besides, you can't protect children. They know everything."

“. . .from their earliest years children live on familiar terms with disrupting emotions, fear and anxiety are an intrinsic part of their everyday lives, they continually cope with frustrations as best they can. And it is through fantasy that children achieve catharsis. It is the best means they have for taming Wild Things.” 

“Peter Rabbit, for all its gentle tininess, loudly proclaims that no story is worth the writing, no picture worth the making, if it is not a work of imagination.” 

“I think it is unnatural to think that there is such a thing as a blue-sky, white-clouded happy childhood for anybody. Childhood is a very, very tricky business of surviving it. Because if one thing goes wrong or anything goes wrong, and usually something goes wrong, then you are compromised as a human being. You're going to trip over that for a good part of your life.” 

“If there's anything I'm proud of in my work--it's not that I draw better; there's so many better graphic artists than me--or that I write better, no. It's--and I'm not saying I know the truth, because what the hell is that? But what I got from Ruth and Dave, a kind of fierce honesty, to not let the kid down, to not let the kid get punished, to not suffer the child to be dealt with in a boring, simpering, crushing-of-the-spirit kind of way.” 

"And Max, the king of all wild things, was lonely and wanted to be where someone loved him best of all."

“But the wild things cried, “Oh please don’t go - we’ll eat you up - we love you so!”And Max said, “No!”The wild things roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws but Max stepped into his private boat and waved goodbye.” 

“And [he] sailed back over a year
and in and out of weeks
and through a day
and into the night of his very own room
where he found his supper waiting for him
and it was still hot” 


Stephen Cobert did a very funny interview with Maurice Sendak recently. It's in two parts:

The Colbert Report

Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

The Colbert Report

Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

I'm THAT Mom

When you choose to parent differently than the majority of people nearby, you can't help but notice the raised eyebrows. And over the years, I've seen and heard a lot more than that. I've been called "overprotective," "too involved," and even the infamous "helicopter parent." I'd love to tell you that when these slams came my way, they just rolled off my back. They didn't. They stung. They made me question myself. They made me wonder if maybe they were right. But it didn't deflect my course. I was going to be THAT mom. It was inevitable. It was as if it were in my DNA. Often, I didn't have the reasoning or the research to back it up. But I had a gut feeling... and that gut feeling was that I was going to love my kids as if that was the only day I'd have with them. I was going to fill their lives with fun and adventure and opportunities - because  you really really don't know how long you have. We've all seen young lives cut short. And it's even sadder to me that many of them were waiting for their life to start at age 18.  It may be a bit morbid, but I kept thinking, if that were my child, would I be happy with how they spent their short life?

So, yes. I am THAT mom.

I am THAT mom whose family bed concept did not end at any particular age.  Each child slept differently and some stayed with us longer than others.  The Open Sign hung on the door long past when they needed it. Although, when they were teens, if they got sick, they'd often crawl into our bed. Since they were no longer "little kid sized," Ron would often roll out the other side and head to the guest room or a nearby couch.  Because when you're sick, who doesn't wish their mommy would take care of them?

I am THAT mom who takes the kids to the store in the middle of the night to get snacks that we don't have on hand...knowing fully well that these pre-teens just want to be out late and see who else is out late.

I am THAT mom who when there weren't enough adult volunteers, stepped up to lead Girl Scout troops to make sure my daughters had that experience.

I am THAT mom who cringed when parents talked about how happy they were that their kids were going back to school in August (with their child standing right beside them!), or when parents would say, "I'm not your friend, I'm your mom!" I understand what they're aiming for, but I think it completely misses the point. For me, "friend" and "mom" are not mutually exclusive.

I am THAT mom who at one point in time said yes to: 1 Red-eared slider, 2 parakeets, 2 cockatiels, 2 dogs, 3 cats, a guinea pig, 3 pygmy goats, 3 horses, and a donkey.  Loving our pets was a great gateway to learning about following our passions.

I am THAT mom who, when my family started to be interested in horses, worked at a ranch, took riding lessons, I said, "Sure, let's buy that 16 acre ranch outside of town on our (what we thought was) our final move!"

And then, when the interests faded and the situation wasn't best for my teenagers to be stuck outside of a small redneck Texas town, I watched months of HGTV, "staged" the house, sold it in 3 weeks, packed up the family and moved to Austin. Yes, I am THAT mom.

I am THAT mom who, when my son was wishing he had a brother (he had only 2 sisters),  agreed to host a Japanese exchange student... and our lives were forever changed.

I am THAT mom, who later, let her 16 year old son go to Japan for 3 months, because he had an interest in other cultures and travel.

I am THAT mom who served raspberries and cream puffs for one daughter's birthday breakfast in bed, homemade chocolate pie for my son who prefers it over cake, and IHOP breakfast for my other daughter. And I'm no stranger to throwing wild elaborate birthday parties either!

I am THAT mom who, when we didn't have support groups that met our needs, I grabbed a few friends and we simply started one up: Homeschoolers Unlimited, The Chart & Compass, Alaska Homeschool Network, and the National Home Education Network.

I am THAT mom who, when my daughter wanted to act out scenes from a show, I watched her do it over and over and OVER! I even pulled out the video camera and followed her around or set up the tripod so she could film it herself.  And then when that progressed to community theatre, I am THAT mom that sat in the seats for every rehearsal and show, sometimes volunteering to do whatever job needed doing (stage crew, costume cutter, light person, Tinkerbell sparkle light).

I am THAT mom who let my kids find their own way with make-up, clothing and piercings. They are so much more confident about who they are and how they want to portray themselves to the world, because they have had the time and the space to figure that out.

I am THAT mom who let my kids set their own sleep schedules. Sometimes they'd be up all night, and sleep all day. Often, I would crash before they would. But it all worked out. Yes, they were able to set their alarms and get up for the early shift at work.

I am THAT mom, who when my daughter and her friends wanted to go to a Rave and I thought they were a little too young, I took them myself. I walked with them to the front area, paid for them to get in and then picked them up when they called.  They enjoyed it, but had no desire to go again.

I am THAT mom, who when my 17 year old became engaged to her 19 year old boyfriend, I trusted her like I always have.  (Yes, I encouraged a long engagement - they're 18 & 20 now...the wedding will be when they're 19 & 21). But it's ALL about trust...little decisions and big decisions.

I am THAT mom, who let my daughter's boyfriend (now fiancé) move in to our house so they could save money for their future.

I am THAT mom who had my kids' Facebook & Myspace passwords, and spoke regularly with my kids about what I saw.  I didn't prevent them from writing or posting or even being friends with some "questionable characters," but instead discussed and suggested but mainly listened without judgement. By not TELLING them how things were going to be done, they often came around to the idea on their own. My Hands On Approach to Parenting applied when they were young, but also when they were teens.

I am THAT mom who spent years combing newspapers, surfing the internet, and picking people's brains to find out what cool activity might interest one or more of my kids. I was on a mission to find interesting places to explore and fascinating experiences for them to have in every place we lived. Some were flops, some hit the mark, lots fell in between. But every place offered adventures we simply had to uncover, and one thing really DOES lead to another.

I am THAT mom, who when my daughter told me she thought she was not smart enough to go to high school, after 15 years of unschooling, I asked her if she wanted to go. I told her that maybe she should go see, because I KNEW she was smart enough. But I knew it was way more important that SHE know. We mulled over the possibilities, and she did go. For a year and half. And that was all she needed.

I am THAT mom, who drove wherever we needed to go to meet fun people and/or have great experiences. We traveled up and down the state of California for HSC campouts or conferences. We trekked across Alaska to speak with people at homeschool events - we drove through mountain ranges and slept on ferries. From Texas, we ventured to Live and Learn conferences in St. Louis, Albuquerque, and North Carolina. We drove weekly to Dallas to be part of a homeschool film crew at the PBS station. We visited friends all over the country. And whenever we moved (and we did that lot with the military), we took the long scenic routes. There was always something interesting to check out along the way. And, yes, we put a lot of miles on our cars!

These are just a few of things that come to mind. And some of you might STILL be raising your eyebrows about some of these decisions. I'm sharing them anyway, because parenting decisions can sometimes look complicated and scary. Sometimes they are. But when you have a basic philosophy about what you're doing, it's more of a natural (less complicated) way of living with your children. It's about developing a relationship of trust and love, more than anything else.

I think most importantly, I am THAT mom that "held the container" - what my dad used to call the Sanctuary. I made sure that my kids had a place to grow and explore and try whatever they wanted to try. I did protect them a great deal because the world DOES want children to play small. Society is not crazy about children who "don't know their place" or are "too big for their britches." Kids in school often had to shape their interests, and actually their personalities, so that they either could gain the attention of others or keep out of the limelight. SOO much energy is often put into that struggle. I wanted my kids' energy to be used somewhere else. I wanted them to feel free to be as creative as they wanted as they set out on their own adventure of self-discovery. I simply wanted them to unfold more naturally - without unnecessary peer pressure or authoritarian squashing.

So, yeah. I guess that makes me THAT mom. I'm okay with it. And my kids are doing okay too.


*A couple years ago, an entire thread of "I'm THAT Mom"s bubbled up in cyberspace, starting with Flo Gascon. :) Here's a link to a bunch of them!

Life, Dreams, Passion

The Beauty of Math

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Blossoming Gardens

In 1997, we were in our second year of keeping our kids out of school. Michael was 8, Katie was 6, and Alyssa was 3.  We were trying to create a community of unschooling and relaxed homeschooling families in Alaska, so I agreed to publish a newsletter called Chart & Compass.  It was only available for the few years we lived there, but I wrote this article about Spring and Unschooling and Alaska...and it just makes me smile.  I'm glad I continued on that path!


And now, 15 years later,  I'm happy to share it with the Unschooling Blog Carnival!

I've really been getting into gardening lately. I'm amazed at the bold colors and the lush flower arrangements all over town, a town barren just a couple of months back. Being new to Alaska, I don't really know a lot about which flowers grow well here.


All my gardening knowledge dealt with plants indigenous to Texas and North Carolina-clearly bluebonnets and azaleas aren't going to work out. Well, actually, I could plant them in pots, regulate their sun time, heat, and watering to be more similar to the South. While the plants would grow, they wouldn't really thrive---not to mention how exhausted I would be---all because I only wanted to grow what I was familiar with!


I'm struck by the similarity between my gardening experience and my unschooling/homeschooling experience. Prior to this year, all I knew about education came from what and how I had learned in schools. Some good, some bad. What worked, what hadn't. The only thing is, that environment is not what I want to duplicate in my home. "School-ish" materials seem to really be aimed at the center of that bell curve and a lot of the repetitiveness is due to so many children in one classroom. Certainly, it doesn't take 12 years to cover that material! So, probably, just as with my gardening, I'm going to have to learn new ways.


Forcing a familiar school-type approach at home is like forcing bougainvillea to bloom in Alaska.


I look out the window and see the Alaska Shasta daisies, lobelia, and the Forget-Me-Nots growing like mad. They're not root-bound in pots (and the gardeners seem to be thriving well too). All it took was to find what these little flowers needed and provide it. And allow Nature to provide the rest. That, too, requires a certain amount of trust. I have to hold myself back from interfering, trying to force my old ways of gardening and learning upon my gardens. I guess I'll just try to relax and enjoy my little flowers' unfolding. I hope you're enjoying your gardens too!

Anchorage Visitor Center

From Chart & Compass May 1997 

Interesting Graphic about Homeschoolers

This is from the College at Home Blog. While I don't think we're in this to dominate anybody, I think it's nice to be able to show that those who learn at home are doing just fine thankyouverymuch!

Glancing at the sources a little, I see where they get their numbers. Not sure it's all that accurate - no one asked me about our income level or my husband's occupation. Still, it makes a little sense as to where some of this comes from. Nevertheless, it's a quicky reference for the naysayers, I guess. ;)

[Sorry about the overlap here into the sidebar. The image doesn't give me a lot of choices. It's ok, you can see it.]


Created by: College At Home

Wordless Wednesday

Unschooling Your Teens - FB Resource!

Have you ever noticed how great information simply scrolls off the bottom of a Facebook page?  That may change with the new Timeline format that's coming, but for now, I lose things all the time! I think something sounds worthwhile to read and plan to come back to it later when the house is quieter, or I'm just less distracted.  But then, I find that I a) don't remember where I saw it, or b) that particular wall has now been engulfed with 6 more hours of worldwide comments. I simply cannot find it.

So last fall, I started a Facebook page and simply started posting the interesting articles, videos, blogposts that pertained to families with teenagers learning at home.  I didn't make it public, I just stored articles there.  Eventually, I realized that others might benefit from this resource and even be capable of sharing articles that they find out on the internet. I wrote to a few friends and flipped the switch to "Public."

Someone asked if this is a Discussion forum. The answer is Yes and No. Yes, in that we can discuss whatever the article, video, blogpost that's up on the wall. But no, in that I'd prefer questions that don't pertain to the uploaded links be handled on the many lists that exist out on Facebook and the web that handle this. I agree that there are very few places that parents of teens can share specifically to that age range. But, perhaps something will come. If you are interested in the materials, or have something to share that is specific for parents of teens, please join the page.

In the meantime, here's my new Facebook Page: 

Homeschooling/Unschooling Your Teen 

If you go to this link, "like" the page,  any updates will be automatically sent to your Facebook newsfeed.

Please share this link! 

thanks!

Conferences 2012

 When we were first homeschoooling, I wanted to learn as much as I could. I found a conference that was nearby and went to it. It was referred to as "a Christian" conference, but I didn't think much about it. We were Episcopalian, that seemed like it would be fine. It wasn't long before I discovered that there are sometimes "code words" in the homeschooling language. And, evidently, "Christian Conference" is one of them.

They talked about being called by God to homeschool. That wasn't my situation, I just thought I could do better than the public school system. Sure, I prayed, but I didn't feel like God Himself was telling me to do this! They also talked about wives deferring to their husbands for all decision-making, being subservient, and recognizing that their husband was The Principal in their Home School. That certainly didn't describe our situation. My husband agreed that homeschooling was a good thing, but he hadn't researched it nearly as much as I had. Why would I ask him for advice? I was trying to get HIM to read more and get more educated on the topic (which he ultimately did). But I was leading this push, not him.

What I did find to be beneficial at that first homeschooling conference was their resource room. I had seen various materials for sale in homeschooling catalogs, and most of them were right there in the Resource Room - available for me to look at and decide if their marketing was accurate. You know how you see movie trailers that are so great, but then you realize that those were the only good parts of the whole movie? Marketing works that way in homeschool catalogs as well. And that was the mid- '90s! I'm sure marketing to homeschoolers/unschoolers has only grown larger!

Long long ago!
Lillian Jones, Linda Dobson, me, Alyssa

I will tell you that my favorite conference is HSC Conference in Sacramento. I went for several years as we lived nearby. I even spoke there and worked as a Speaker Coordinator. What I like about it is that all kinds of homeschoolers are welcome. There is a distinct unschooling "flavor" about it. But as my homeschooling friends used to tell me, "I love being around unschoolers. Even though we use curriculum, you all inspire me to be much more creative!" That's what this conference will do.

So grab a friend and head off to a conference! Bring your kids too, because their are fun things for them as well. Also, I think it helps them feel part of something larger.

Unschoolers’ Waterpark Gathering.
January 23-27, 2012. Sandusky, Ohio.

In-Home Conference
March 15-17, 2012. St. Charles, Illinois

ARGH, Autodidactic Radical Gathering of Homeschoolers
May 6-9, 2012  Roan Mt, TN


ALL in May
Always Learning Live Unschooling Symposium
May 18- 20, 2012, Worcester, Massachusetts

LIFE is Good Unschooling Conference.
May 24 -27, 2012. Vancouver, Washington.

HSC Conference: Adventures in Homeschooling
August 2-5, 2012. Sacramento, California

Northeast Unschooling Conference.
August 23-26, 2012. Wakefield, Massachusetts.

Rethinking Everything.
Labor Day Weekend August 30 - September 4, 2012. Dallas, Texas

Wide Sky Days (was Good Vibrations Unschooling Conference)
September 5-9, 2012. San Diego, California

Un in the Sun
October 17-20, 2012

Always Learning Live Unschoolers Symposium.
Dec 27-30, 2012 – Albuquerque, NM

Toronto Unschooling Conference,
 On Hiatus, Toronto, Ontario

For Teens:


Backpacking 101, Outdoors Skills and Ethics
Bowman Adventures
May 13-18, 2012, Jonesborough, Tennessee

East Tennessee Unschooled Summer Camp.
Aug 12-19, 2012. Buffalo Mountain, Tenn.

NBTSC (Not Back To School Camp)
July 30-August 6 Camp Latgawa, Eagle Point, Oregon
August 21- September 4  Camp Myrtlewood, Bridge, Oregon
September 21- October 5  Farm & Wilderness Tamarack Farm Camp - Plymouth, Vermont

Wordless Wednesday

Following a Passion

When we lived in Alaska, a small horse stable was located on the outskirts of the Air Force base. We'd have to pass it everyday, as we drove in toward the neighborhoods. Alyssa was mesmerized. She and Ron would identify which horses were out in the pasture. As winter approached, the horses spent a little more time in the barns. So when Ron dropped Michael off at Tiger Cubs, he and Alyssa would go to the stables and talk to the horses for that hour. Sometimes they'd talk to the owners, sometimes they'd bring carrots or apples or sugar cubes.

Alyssa was shy around people, but not around horses. She'd walk her tiny self - she was all of about 4 years old - up to the stalls, and pet those enormous horses. Ron would hold her up and she'd rub their faces, speaking softly to them. They'd talk about different horse breeds and how they looked and acted. Soon the owners came to know them, and they'd share stories about their horses.  We thought about how nice it would be someday, to own our own horse farm.

So when the Air Force took us to California after Alaska, we knew we needed to find a horse farm. We couldn't buy one, but we sure could hang out at someone else's! We wanted to find riding lessons for all of the kids; Ron decided he wanted to learn too. He found ManMar Ranch near our home. ManMar was interesting because it was a breeding ranch for the UC Veterinary school. We found a riding instructor named Miss Shirley.  She was from England and wanted everyone to learn English instead of Western. Being a HUGE John Wayne fan family, that did not sit well. Miss Shirley explained that it was a better way to learn. Less leather between you and your horse, means you will be able to read each other better.  So that's what we did. And we decide to learn something, we immerse ourselves. Ron and the kids would offer to help the ranch owner, Liz, with whatever she needed. She had stable hands, but they had a lot to do. Soon, my kids were moving horses from one field to another, bringing them into their stalls for the night, helping with feeding, chatting with owners. When one of the mares was about to have a foal, Liz called us to come up and watch. A miracle in the barn - without a doubt!

The UC Vets let the kids look through microscopes, talked with them about injuries, and explained artificial insemination. They all learned about the dangers of getting too close to the hormone-raging stallions, as well as the mares who were used solely for breeding. They were referred to as the Crazy Mares. I guess you would be too if you were pregnant most of your life! This happens in the horse racing world. Expensive race horses cannot run the risk of a problem pregnacy. So the Crazy Mares do all the work, so to speak.
Liz had shared her horses with us. First it was Pepper (For Dr. Pepper), then it was Louie. Finally she wanted us to try to ride Gilley. He was a Standard bred bay colored horse who had not done well on the track. He was fast, but he was easily spooked at the gate. While that's no good for a race horse, it's not that bad for a family horse. Ron and Michael spent many days there helping them build a covered riding arena, learning how to break in horses - all to barter with Liz, work for boarding costs for Gilley.  Liz loved her horses. So when Alyssa clearly loved them too, they were connected. She even hosted a birthday party for Alyssa out at the ranch, letting all of her friends climb onto different horses and go for a ride.

Katie's interest in horses faded. But Michael, Alyssa and Ron continued their horse love affair. So when the Air Force was ready to move us back to Texas, we decided we had to have a ranch! Boarding costs alone made it sound like a good idea. But really, it was clear that we were bringing more animal interests into our lives. We already had a parakeet, a turtle, a dog, a cat, a guinea pig and some tadpoles that would never morph into frogs (I'll save that story for another post!) So we bought 16 acres on a hill northwest of Wichita Falls, in a community that was just a dot on map: Thornberry. Before long, we acquired 2 more horses, Dolly and Cimarron.


 But we also acquired chickens, ducks, guineas, guinea pigs, goats, cows, a donkey, a bull, cockatiels, parakeets, feral cats and guard dogs.  We built a chicken coop and raised chicks. We learned how the light affects the egg production and how to keep chickens safe from coyotes and bull snakes. We wrote stories about the animals and the various adventures and mysteries that happened on the ranch. The kids bought a breeding pair of cockatiels and started a cockatiel business. They trained the birds so they could be handled and hand-fed and sold the babies to other families. They helped with the birthing of calves, trimmed hooves on goats, and even buried a much loved cat that we had brought with us from Alaska. They bottle-fed kittens that had been abandoned in a neighbor's barn. They learned how soft a donkey's nose is and how stubborn a bull can be. They entered their dogs in 4H competitions, even winning some of them! They learned about horse tack and temperaments. We bought materials to build stalls and run fencing.  The kids shared their information with other "city kids" who had no idea we had only just left the 'burbs ourselves.  We met other horse owners in the ranches nearby. Alyssa even delivered Girl Scout cookies by horseback!  Our kids knew what was safe and what was important on the ranch.

We stayed on our ranch in Thornberry for 5 years. We learned so much there! But the reason I'm sharing this here is because, for us, this was what following our passions looked like.  Ron noticed Alyssa was interested in horses in Alaska and found a way for her to see one up close. Connecting all the dots is something you can see clearly when it's retrospective; but while you're living it, you simply have to step toward the interest and see where you go.  These steps led to a 10 year adventure with animals - for the whole family!

Alyssa was a late reader and didn't retain many math concepts. But she could spot a Thoroughbred and tell you all the difference between a Buckskin and a Palomino. She knew her tack and her horses. It really made me smile to look out the kitchen window and see her pull her horse, Dolly, over toward the hot tub or the fence gate. She'd climb up so she'd be tall enough to hop onto the bare back of the horse. Then she'd ride laps around the house, down the driveway, and around the fence lines. It gave her a confidence that would see her through many of the obstacles she'd face later in life. Our "pets" taught all of them that animals need their human to do a lot of hard work - every day. If it was cold and windy, they still had to be fed. If it was raining, someone still needed to close up the chicken coop door.

But they learned even bigger lessons. They learned that if you love something, it's within your grasp... even if you have to shift some priorities to get it. People might look at you funny saying, "You're going to do what?" But anything is attainable if you walk through the steps to get there.  That is so much more important than long division or reading by 8.

In spite of - or more likely *because of* - this nontraditional approach toward learning, my kids did learn to read and to write.  
     Michael (almost 23) got a degree in Journalism and is a Peace Corps Volunteer. 
     Katie (21) is studying at a film acting conservatory in New York city. 
     Alyssa is completing her cosmetology program, ready to start her career at 18.

Wordless Wednesdays

Wordless Wednesdays

Natural Curiosity

I love the internet. I was sitting there thinking about creativity and learning and suddenly something pops up and points me in a little different direction.This picture floated around Facebook. It shows a subway in Washington D.C. Everyone is rushing by as a someone is playing a violin over near the wall. The point of the message is that people should stop to watch beauty.


Here's the story:

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that 1,100 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by, and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace, and stopped for a few seconds, and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping, and continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried, but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally, the mother pushed hard, and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money, but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the most talented musicians in the world. He had just played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, on a violin worth $3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste, and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

Evidently this isn't the first time this has happened. One commenter says that Paul McCartney did this same thing in London, and no one stopped.  And, yes, paying attention to beauty around us IS an important thing we need to do. But what  I noticed about the story is that the children DID notice beauty.  They didn't look past him. They craned their neck to see what was going on, only moved along by their adult.

That natural curiosity is inside all of us. But after years of schools ringing bells, ending class times just when it was getting interesting, or even just making the presumption that each class time should be allocated X amount of time - no more, no less, we have essentially buried our natural curiosity. I used to think it was squashed out of us. But now I think of it more as heaps and heaps of deadlines, priorities (usually someone else's!), forced competition, and urgency. Those are what come from years and years of classroom exposure.

When we lived in Alaska, we used to go to a science museum called the Imaginarium. Clearly they believed in the benefit of hands-on learning, as each exhibit was about exploration and discovery. We would go every month with other families in our support group. My son would often gravitate to the fossil area. It was a giant sand pit with trucks and back hoes you could use to find the bones and stones that were buried below. Lots of times, the kids would spend their time building forts out of the sand piles, or setting up Indiana Jones inspired settings.

I remember the first time I took my kids to the Imaginarium. We were part of an organized class for the first hour, then we could spend the whole day there afterward if we wanted to. Often that's exactly what we did.  The kids had ended up in the sand pit/fossil area, and I was sitting with another mom.  Just as we were relaxing, in stormed a crowd of kids from school.  They were close in age to our kids, and there were a lot of them. I turned to the other mom who told me, "Just wait, they won't be here long." There was room in the sand for them to join ours, but they didn't. They just watched what our kids were doing. I didn't notice any commenting, nor did I notice that they really wanted to get into the sand. They talked among themselves for a few minutes, and then their teacher handed them a slip of paper - something for them to check off which exhibits they saw - and then she moved them to the next area.

I could see them from where I sat, and they didn't try to engage in anything that would take any time. They picked up a giant balloon wand, once or twice. They gently touched some noise maker. But they didn't stick with anything in particular. And then it was time for them to move to the next area and ultimately off to lunch.

I was struck by the thought that they weren't really engaging anywhere; they weren't encouraged to. And after years of bells ringing and teachers determining the amount of time they should focus, they simply kept it all at a very superficial level. They were rushed through with no time for exploring. Because exploring - really exploring - DOES take time. And all those kids in school missed that opportunity. They were basically being conditioned to set aside their natural curiosity. Over time, they'd forget about picking it up again.

Still, videos like this remind me that it's still in all of us. Some of us held tighter to our natural curiosity. So when the shackles of school were removed, they could easily reach through to rekindle that curiosity that was waiting for them. The rest of us take a little longer to reacquaint ourselves with that which is in us.

And then some of us, our children that were given time to discover and play, won't have to go looking for their natural curiosity.  It's been a big part of their lives all along.

Children's Story Choices

When I think about the books that I read to my children, 

is it any wonder they are outspoken against any injustices they see?

Not sure which ones these are?
Top Row: Butter Battle Book, The Sneetches, The Cat in the Hat, The Lorax
Bottom Row: Yertle the Turtle, The Grinch, Green Eggs & Ham,  Horton Hears a Who

This doesn't even include Oh the Places You'll Go, I Can Read with my Eyes Shut, Oh The Thinks You can Think, The Birthday Book, Marvin K Mooney...

They say it's the little things responsible for shaping who we are or how we think.  Night after night, we read Dr. Seuss until all of us fell asleep.  And these were the words we heard as we were nodding off...

When I started looking for the Dr. Seuss quotes, I stumbled onto the fact that Universal Studios was putting out The Lorax in theaters in March.  Initially, I added the video of  The Lorax movie trailer.  But a few hours after I uploaded this blog piece, my friend Bettina wrote to tell me that there's an even BIGGER story here! It seems my kids weren't the only one influenced by Dr. Seuss.

A 4th grade class in Boston were dismayed after watching the initial trailer. The movie wasn't holding to the the environmental theme of The Lorax, there was barely a mention of the trees at all!   

These 14 children launched The Lorax Petition Project through Change.org.  They saw similarities between our world and the world of the Lorax.  Their petition was circulated around Twitter and the internet; in one month, they generated 57,000 signatures.  

They wrote:

The Lorax movie, with its millions of dollars in advertising and massive audience has the potential to help heal the Earth. This movie can show the world we should not take our sky, water, trees, and animals for granted. It could inspire more and more people to treat Earth with the same respect you would give a child.We’d like to see the movie live up to the potential of the book. We’re encouraging Universal to make an improved Lorax movie website that Dr. Seuss would be proud of.

And the good news is, THEY WON! It's fascinating to see how quickly the internet, and especially social networks can empower people make a change in their world.  "No matter how small."

 Heartwarming, isn't it?

Their Video Request:



Here's the Movie Trailer. And it's being released on Dr. Seuss's Birthday!!! Do you have that book, Happy Birthday to You - it's a traditional birthday reading here. Still.